Monthly Archives: January 2015

This Week in Flowing Freely, Pt. 4.

Lung bases are clear. Heart size is normal. The liver and spleen are otherwise unremarkable.

It’s been a year in the medical world for me. Four hernias were repaired in two surgeries. I had a sinus procedure; an out-patient turbinate reduction surgery. I spent a lot of quality time at my chiropractor although I’ll call him a physiotherapist who is very effective at reducing pain through movement. I saw my general practitioner far more than I have in the past. I went to a urologist who then recommended my pelvic floor physical therapy.

The human body is such a fascinating system but even more fascinating to me is how people are drawn to specialize in treating certain functions of the human body. How does a med student decide they want to be a surgeon and then branch off into all those various intricate specialties? How does a med student run across urology or otolaryngology as their preferred choice of medicinal study? What on earth draws a med student to digitally inspecting a man’s prostate as something they would want to devote their life to?

I’ve been suffering from pain in my right groin through my right hip since my first hernia surgery in March. So far, no one can tell me what the issue is. I’ve experienced dull achey generalized pain in that entire area to sharp burning very localized pain. It was after one particular day of burning that my doctor ordered a CT scan; a CT Abdomen Pelvis w/Contrast.

Perhaps my 50 year old body didn’t like being violated in places where it’s not designed for violation and has thrown up a wall of scar tissue and pain as rebellion for that insult. Perhaps it’s telling me that sitting on the couch watching movies and drinking cocktails all day isn’t such a bad thing, rather than constant trips to the gym just to pick up some iron and then set it back down and riding miles on a bicycle in an effort to stay in some semblance of good health.

Pancreas: Unremarkable.

Adrenal glands: Unremarkable.

November 18 was my forth out of five Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy sessions.  Again, I felt like I was enduring a lecture as opposed to any type of therapyzing (that is my word of the day). Did I really want to lay on the exam table again and concentrate on the gray wall while some person sticks her fingers up my butt and instructs me on muscle contraction and relaxation?

There is not a damn thing wrong with my peritoneum/mesentery/omenta thank you very much for your concern.

Nope, no more digital inspections. I was told that I have superior contraction/relaxation abilities in my butt muscles.

I was reminded of the importance of attention paid towards consumption of liquids and evacuation of said liquids. I’ve known this for a while but didn’t want to believe it; we just rent beer. Our bladders can hold so much liquid and when the detrusor muscle exists in a distended form on a regular basis, then middle aged men such as I have middle aged man problems.

The CT scanner is a wonderful machine of our modern medical age. I have no idea how the thing works or how to read the images although I was presented a copy of all the images and looking inside me is kinda cool if not also a bit gross.

I had to drink two barium shakes in a timely fashion. I chose the berry flavor followed by the mocha flavored concoction, neither of which was pleasant and the sensation was one of over all dreariness, a plodding heaviness inside my gut that..whatever, the barium sulfite solution was awful. I was also to have a dye injected into my bloodstream and was given the hint that I might feel just a little warming sensation like I wet my pants when the dye was administered.

Lying in the big circular whirring machine, listening to the dispassionate remote voice telling me when to breathe, to not breathe, to breathe again, to not breathe again and now the dye is to be released and wow, how long will the feeling of all my blood boiling in my veins last? How long will the feeling that the top of my head will explode off my skull be present? How much longer will this intense body wide pain last?

My prostate is present and my appendix appears normal. My liver and spleen are unremarkable.

There are probably 18.743 gazillion blogs/websites devoted to the first world problem of crafting a life that is remarkable. Is that a realistic number? Don’t know and I made it up and all I know is I’ve wasted a lot of time on a lot of them. Reading the detailed report of my CT scan, I can’t help notice how glad I am everything measured is unremarkable. However, I’m no closer to solving this abdominal pain issue; perhaps it’s all in my head.

I have one more pelvic floor physical therapy appointment remaining.

What did the CT scan reveal about my pelvic urogenital structures which were the reason I saw my urologist and my physical therapist?

My bladder is moderately distended and grossly unremarkable.

There are times when there is nothing wrong and everything right with being unremarkable.